Covering All the Bases
Tara Chavez decided to do a thorough investigation before moving her son to Desert Cove Elementary School. She had to get him into a school in the Phoenix area that was conducive to his comfort.
Covering All the Bases
A Wonderful Mom
Tara thought of all the details, including the class size, her son’s sensitivity, and the affordability. She’s an incredibly supportive mother who always tries to be active in school activities. After review, she had him enrolled at Desert Cove Elementary School.
A Wonderful Mom
Unfortunate Decision
Though she tried so hard to ensure things were perfect, Tara had no idea she made a decision that she would come to regret. After bringing her situation to light, other parents realized how nothing should be taken for granted.
Unfortunate Decision
No Cause for Concern
After a term passed, it didn’t appear as if anything was wrong at the school. As far as Cayden, Tara’s son, was concerned, he seemed to be doing very well at Desert Cove Elementary School.
No Cause For Concern
Things Are Not Right
One day after school, Tara went to get her son, and she could tell that there was something off. She couldn’t tell what it was, so she said nothing and simply hugged him.
Things Are Not Right
What Could It Be?
The first thing she assumed was that her son was a victim of bullying at school from either teachers or fellow students. She thought of other things, but she wasn’t sure how to proceed.
What Could It Be?
Understanding the Problem
As she wanted to handle the situation correctly, she managed to keep it together and tried to cheer him up. Still, she was set on understanding what was wrong, hopefully without upsetting him.
Understanding the Problem
Nothing to Say
Her son said nothing more than he was fine, but his tone wasn’t right. He just wasn’t opening up, though it was clear that something was deeply disturbing him on the inside. He wouldn’t let it out.
Nothing to Say
Giving Him Space
Tara decided not to press the boy too hard about the situation so he could think. However, during the ride home, she saw a blue mark on his hand and inquired about it.
Giving Him Space
That’s More Than Dirt
Initially, she thought it was nothing more than some dirt. However, she proceeded to focus on whatever it was, and she realized that it was more than that, and she needed to understand.
That’s More Than Dirt
Someone Stamped Cayden
This was a most unusual mark, and she could tell that whatever was weighing so heavily on him had something to do with it. Her maternal instinct told her that something was off here.
Someone Stamped Cayden
A Lead on the Story
Cayden finally shared a bit with his mother, and it clued her in onto what may be happening. She knew she had to focus on the road, though, so she remained calm and temporarily rested it.
A Lead On The Story
Keeping Calm Was No Easy Feat
Though she seemed to be holding it together, she was furious on the inside. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and wanted to blow a gasket about the matter.
Keeping Calm Was No Easy Feat
Not Too Talkative
When the pair got home, Cayden wanted to go straight to his room. However, Tara wanted to know the whole story. So, she called her husband, and they decided to hold a family meeting.
Not Too Talkative
More Than a Bruise
Upon getting their first good look at what was under his sleeve, they thought it was a bruise. Then they noticed it was ink. They knew Cayden didn’t do it, based on the words.
More Than A Bruise
Why Would He Do That?
The stamp read “LUNCH MONEY” in all capital letters. They questioned why he would ever do that to himself. Now the wondered if someone took the boy’s lunch money.
Why Would He Do That?
The Lunch Lady
Eventually, Cayden told his parents that the lunch lady did it. As he spoke, his parents became enraged, as it seemed she wished to humiliate the young boy publicly. They did not have it.
The Lunch Lady
The Boy Was Forced
They asked Cayden if he was given a choice in the matter, and he said she just grabbed his wrist and stamped it. While the pair were upset, they also felt for him.
The Boy Was Forced
On the Internet
Though Cayden could pay for his food, they noticed the lunch money account was low and wondered who else may be using it. Mark, his father, took a photo and uploaded it online.
On The Internet
Did the School Blunder?
It was clear that Cayden’s self-esteem took a hit from the whole ordeal. Typically, the school sends an e-mail reminder when funds are running low. Did someone on the school administration mess up?
Did The School Blunder?
A Viral Post
After the pst on, the internet started to heat up very quickly. Whether it was to get the experience out or not, people began to share and comment until the post reached a viral stage.
A Viral Post
The Comments Kept Coming
People commented with all different sorts of sentiments, but they all seemed to disapprove of how the school went about the issue. One commenter rightfully highlighted the kind of stigma possible.
The Comments Kept Coming
Not the Only Victim
While many people were letting their sentiments be known from an external standpoint, one poster shared that she had this experience in middle school, and how it led to her eating disorder.
Not The Only Victim
It Could Not Be Ignored
With all the uproar that ended up surrounding the post, ignoring it was impossible. It was only a matter of time before the school got wind of what was happening.
It Could Not Be Ignored
The School’s Response
Naturally, the school couldn’t just ignore all that had happened, and it decided to address the issue. Tara got an e-mail from the administration on the matter, but how did they speak about it?
The School’s Response
Policy Vs. the Child’s Story
Stacey Orest, Desert Cove Elementary’s principal, responded and stated that children get to choose between the stamp or the reminder slip as funds get low, but no ill-will was intended.
Policy Vs. The Child’s Story
Unsatisfactory Response
While Tara appreciated the e-mail, she felt that the response wasn’t a satisfactory one. She, along with other parents, wanted the stamp method phased out and replaced with something that was more considerate and appropriate.
Unsatisfactory Response
The School District Gets Involved
Becky Kelbaugh, the Paradise Valley Unified School District Spokesperson, communicated that Desert Cove never intended, nor did it realize that the course of action would bring about such a level of embarrassment.
The School District Gets Involved
Official Policy Change
In the statement provided, Kelbaugh highlighted the fact that students were offered a choice. However, she indicated that going forward, the school intends only to use the notification letter method.
Official Policy Change
A Recurring Theme
While the parents were happy about the announcement, this was not an isolated incident. Unfortunately, similar situations occurred in the past, but there was no justice because the parents weren’t willing to fight the way Tara and Mark did.
A Recurring Theme
Another Embarrassed Child
Jon Bivens has a son who attends Gardendale Elementary School. He experienced a similar ordeal not too long before Tara’s, where his son came home with a confusing lunch money stamp on his arm.
Another Embarrassed Child
Unaware of the Meaning
As this child’s stamp had a smiley face included, the parents thought it was probably something for doing good work. It was only after taking a closer look that the words “I need lunch money” stuck out.
Unaware Of The Meaning
A Different Approach
Jon and his wife decided to pack lunches for their son daily after that incident. Therefore, the child didn’t have to worry about lunch money, though he did get to buy cafeteria treats sometimes.
A Different Approach
It Was a Mistake
The worst part is that like Cayden, who still had a $0.75 balance, this child still had one of $1.38. Therefore, it seemed like the schools weren’t checking the balances adequately before stamping children.
It Was A Mistake
The Stigma Follows
The dad was understandably upset, based on the fact that many children are interacting. This means that the other kids would see the stamp and know the reason behind it, which compounds the embarrassment.
The Stigma Follows
Alternative form of Bullying
The upset dad continued that it constitutes another form of bullying, which shames children. What do you think of the matter? Do you think the system is harsh, or is it an adequate one?
Alternative Form Of Bullying
The Ordeal Is Highly Embarrassing
Desert Cove is a school with an affluent status overall. Of the student population, 32% qualify for subsidized or free lunches. Thankfully, justice was served, and no other student at the school has to suffer this.
The Ordeal Is Highly Embarrassing
Lunch Shaming Is a Bigger Problem
Sadly, “lunch shaming” is not an isolated issue in these two schools. The real danger is when it causes kids to start opting to skip their meals, which can hurt them academically or otherwise.
Lunch Shaming Is A Bigger Problem
Desert Cove’s Regrets
The school eventually released a statement saying that it was deeply sorry for the unintentional result of the stamping. The apology was directed at both the students and the parents, and the school promised improvement.
Desert Cove’s Regrets
Embracing Change
The school used the system for many years; however, it committed to better communication with parents in the future. The letter method and e-mail were both put forward to stop this from happening again.
Embracing Change
