Mark Harmon’s Wife Has Finally Revealed The Truth Behind The Couple’s 31-Year Marriage

Published on July 3, 2019
Many celebrity marriages come and go, but every once in a while you come across a long lasting marriage between two stars. An example of this is Mark Harmon and Pam Dawber, who have been married since 1987. Now, Dawber has finally opened up about the secret behind their marriage.

Their 31 Year Marriage

So just how have these two stood the test of time? After many years, Dawber has revealed what makes their marriage tick.

Their 31 Year Marriage

Their 31 Year Marriage

Before The Fame

Harmon is known for his long time role on hit TV show NCIS. He was born in 1951 to parents Elyse Knox, an actress and model, and football star Tom Harmon. Despite the fact that he’s a celebrity now, before it all he worked as a carpenter, which is even alluded to in NCIS, as his character enjoys building things with wood.

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Before The Fame

Before The Fame

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Mark’s Father Tom

Mark Harmon’s father Tom Harmon was a famous football player. Nicknamed “Old 98,” Tom Harmon one the Heisman Trophy in 1940 and later played in the NFL for the Los Angeles Rams. He later had a career as an actor and a sports broadcaster. No wonder Mark was drawn to life in the spotlight, as he followed in his father’s footsteps.

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Mark's Father Tom

Mark’s Father Tom

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Like Father Like Son

It seems almost natural that because Mark’s father was a football player, he would also try his hand at the sport. In fact, when he was in high school he played so well, he received offers to play at several prominent college football teams. He chose UCLA over Oklahoma, which would later go on to finish in second place in the nation, while UCLA stumbled to last place in the Pac-8. Despite this, he still won the National Football Foundation award for All-Around Excellence his senior year.

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Like Father Like Son

Like Father Like Son

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His First Career Path

Harmon graduated cum laude from the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) in 1974 with a degree in Communications. He began pursuing a career in advertising and even considered pursuing law. He worked as a merchandising director, but found that his interests drew him into acting instead. He pursued his passion and soon landed appearances in commercials, even starring in a Kellogg’s ad with his father.

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His First Career Path

His First Career Path

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His Mother Elyse

Speaking of the spotlight, Mark Harmon’s mother was the stunning actress, model, and fashion designer Elyse Knox. Knox appeared in her first leading role in the film The Mummy’s Tomb in 1942. Knox appeared on Bing Crosby’s radio show, where she met Tom Hardy. The two married in 1944, and her silk wedding dress was made of Tom’s parachute he used in WWII.

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His Mother Elyse

His Mother Elyse

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His Sister Kelly

In addition to having parents in show business, Mark Harmon’s sisters also appeared on the big screen. His sister Kelly Harmon is best known for appearing in shows Bay City BluesBattlestar Galactica, CHiPS, and One Day At A Time. She later began a career in interior design and even owns her own company that is located in Los Angeles.

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His Sister Kelly

His Sister Kelly

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His Sister Kristin

Mark’s sister Kristin also briefly spent some time as an actress and model, and was also married to actor and musician Ricky Nelson. The two had four children, but later went through a very bitter divorce. She then married Mark Tinker, who encouraged her desire to paint. Her paintings became very sought after, with Jackie Kennedy and Mia Farrow purchasing her works.

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His Sister Kristin

His Sister Kristin

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The Custody Battle

However, things took a bitter turn in 1987 when Kristin’s son and Mark’s nephew, Sam, depicted his mother as a “dragon,” and claimed her mood swings caused her to be a bad parent. He also said that she did not allow him to see his siblings. Mark then filed to attain custody of Sam, but later dropped the bid.

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The Custody Battle

The Custody Battle

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He’s Gonna Make It After All

In the mid to later 1970’s, Harmon was able to land some guest appearances on popular TV shows, including Laverne & Shirley, Delvecchio, and The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries. Despite having only small roles in these, Harmon would eventually go on to become a big star, arguable more famous than the actors on the shows he guest starred in early on.

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He's Gonna Make It After All

He’s Gonna Make It After All

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His Big Break

Even though Harmon began his acting career in the 1970’s, he didn’t experience much success until the 80’s. In 1981, he was cast in Flamingo Road, a soap opera, alongside actress Morgan Fairchild, who played his wife. The show had good ratings but was stilled cancelled after only two seasons.

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His Big Break

His Big Break

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After Flamingo Road

After the disappointing cancellation of Flamingo Road, Harmon cast in St. Elsewhere in 1983 as Dr. Robert Caldwell. He later played Ted Bundy in the 1986 TV film The Deliberate Stranger. At this point, Harmon was experiencing much success and was having absolutely no problem being cast in TV shows and films.

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After Flamingo Road

After Flamingo Road

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People’s 1986 Man

One of the ways young actors can measure whether or not they have “made” it is by some external praise. For example, each year People magazine announces an actor they’ve decided to dub the “Sexiest Man Alive.” Harmon received this honor in 1986, which most certainly sealed his place in stardom.

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People's 1986 Man

People’s 1986 Man

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His Rise To Stardom

Harmon finally rose to stardom and appeared in Reasonable Doubts, Chicago Hope, and also The West Wing. He began his iconic role in NCIS as Leroy Jethro Gibbs in 2003 and stars on the show until now.

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His Rise To Stardom

His Rise To Stardom

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His Disappointing Film Career

Despite the fact that Harmon had no problem being cast in high profile film roles, this simply was not enough. For some reason, his film career never really took off. He starred in the 1989 film Worth Winning, which did not receive much acclaim. After this, he returned to acting on TV show. Throughout it all, his wife was by his side.

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His Disappointing Film Career

His Disappointing Film Career

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Dawber’s Career

Though Dawber is known for being an actress, she actually started out her career as a model. Dawber was born in 1951 in Detroit, Michigan. Not long after finishing high school, she appeared in fashion shows around Detroit. She also made some appearances at auto trade conventions.

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Dawber's Career

Dawber’s Career

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College On The Back Burner

After graduating high school and in addition to her modeling, Dawber started studying at Oakland Community College. She had plans to move on to a 4 year university afterwards, but this would never come to fruition. Her life would change forever while on a trip to New York City with a friend.

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College On The Back Burner

College On The Back Burner

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Her Modeling Career

While in New York City, Dawber took the opportunity to meet with modeling agencies. It did not take long before she was offered a contract with famed Wilhelmina Modeling Agency. Dawber’s modeling career had officially taken off.

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Her Modeling Career

Her Modeling Career

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A Career Change

Soon after, Dawber appeared in many campaigns that were featured in magazines, and she was paid well for these. She quickly found herself dabbling in TV commercials, which led her to become curious about a different career path. She would soon make a change that would affect the rest of her life.

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A Career Change

A Career Change

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The Soon To Be Actress

After Dawber had her first taste of acting, she was hooked. She signed up for acting classes and also worked on her vocal abilities. She decided to truly dedicate herself to this completely, and not long after, this would absolutely pay off.

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The Soon To Be Actress

The Soon To Be Actress

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Her Big Break

Dawber soon landed a leading role in the stage production Sweet Adeline, which took place at the Goodspeed Opera House in Connecticut. During one of these performances, a TV producer noticed her and requested she audition for a role on TV show Tabitha. She did not get the role, but this would lead her to the life changing role in Mork & Mindy.

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Her Big Break

Her Big Break

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Her Time At The Top

Dawber worked with then-unknown co-star Robin Williams and the pair experienced overnight success with the popular show, which ran from 1978 until 1982. After Mork & Mindy, Dawber starred in a lead role on My Sister Sam, a show that lasted until 1988. Once this show ended, Dawber made the interesting decision to step away from fame.

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Her Time At The Top

Her Time At The Top

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Williams As A Co-Worker

Dawber has decribed working with Williams as a wonderful experience. The only thing she struggled with was keeping a straight face while he was being funny! She also faced pressure from the show’s executives to make her character more sexualized, which she was against. She fought back successfully while Williams supported her completely.

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Williams As A Co-Worker

Williams As A Co-Worker

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Finding Love

Her decision to leave acting stemmed from the fact that she was now married. She and Harmon married in 1987 and welcomed their first son, Sean, in 1988. Dawber decided to focus on her family and stepped away from her career. Their second son, Ty,  was born in 1992. Three decades later, Dawber finally spoke out about her marriage.

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Finding Love

Finding Love

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Putting Family First

In an interview with Entertainment Tonight, Dawber explained how she and Harmon are making it work. She said that by prioritizing her family before everything else, the marriage has lasted. She said, “I don’t think two people can work all the time in show business and stay married.”

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Putting Family First

Putting Family First

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Taking A Step Back

She added that since she had already reached so many of her goals, stepping away from Hollywood was not a huge sacrifice. She explained, “I was in a number one show. I had my own deal. I got to do Broadway. I got to do musical theater. I got to do cartoon voices. I did everything you can do in this business, and then I had children, and it’s like, ‘I’m not going to chase this fame thing.’”

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Taking A Step Back

Taking A Step Back

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Taking Motherhood Seriously

She shared that she wanted to be a part of her kids’ lives. She added, “I wanted to drive my kids to school. I wanted to be there for their birthdays and bring cupcakes and donuts and do the school festivals and all that, and I did. I got to teach in their art class and so it was a different life then, and I was very happy to do it.”

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Taking Motherhood Seriously

Taking Motherhood Seriously

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Keeping Things Private

It was surprising that Dawber came out and spoke openly about their marriage, as the two are notoriously private about their relationship. She actually said this contributed to their success. Dawber has said that she thinks this is for the best and is not a fan of celebrities sharing too many personal details.

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Keeping Things Private

Keeping Things Private

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No Magazines Here

Dawber is well aware of the fact that she and Harmon were considered an “It” couple. However, she did not let that get to her head. “Notice you don’t see us in the magazines. When you’re married, that’s real life. And to go and plaster your kids… I’m sorry. I’m not for that.”

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No Magazines Here

No Magazines Here

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Keeping It Under Wraps

Dawber and Harmon have always been adamant about keeping their personal lives private, and this is nothing new. They’ve made an effort to stay mum about their relationship for the majority of their marriage. In an interview from 1987 she said: “We’re not trying to keep something secret, but if you don’t want it totally exploited by the press, you have to.”

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Keeping It Under Wraps

Keeping It Under Wraps

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The Reason Behind Staying Private

In an interview, Harmon shared a story that probably explains why he and his wife want to stay clear of the spotlight. After he was asked if a fan has gotten “overzealous,” he responded: “My alarm went off, I went outside with a loaded gun. I listened to footprints come down the side of the house. I whipped around the corner with a gun pointed to this girl’s forehead. I’m standing there, naked in the moonlight. I sleep naked. Her reaction was, ‘You really do live here!’ I thought that was kind of strange. She left, but that’s beyond the line as far as I’m concerned.”

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The Reason Behind Staying Private

The Reason Behind Staying Private

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Unlucky In Love

In the same 1987 interview, Dawber admitted that before meeting Harmon, she was quite unlucky when it comes to relationships. She said she had “a bad love affair here and there” before finally meeting and falling in love with her husband. The pair first met in 1986 at a social event that was hosted by a mutual friend.

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Unlucky In Love

Unlucky In Love

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Done With Actors…Almost

The craziest part of Dawber and Harmon’s story is that it nearly almost did not happen at all! In fact, after having so many unsuccessful tries of relationships with actors, Dawber had decided she was swearing off of dating actors. However, luckily she decided to bend her rule and give Harmon a try. The rest is history!

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Done With Actors...Almost

Done With Actors…Almost

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Keeping Things Small

As we all know, Dawber and Harmon value their privacy over everything else. Therefore it makes sense that when the two tied the knot back in 1987, they decided to have a very small wedding and only invited their closest friends and relatives. Despite this, in recent times they’ve been a bit more open about their relationship.

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Keeping Things Small

Keeping Things Small

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The Homebodies

One thing that makes keeping a low profile for the pair and their two sons is that fact that they truly enjoy staying at home. In an interview with TV Insider in 2017, Harmon even admitted: “It’s not even a choice. It’s who we are. We stay home. A lot.” It makes sense that these natural homebodies want to stay out of the public eye.

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The Homebodies

The Homebodies

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Not Into Social Media

Another contributing factor to keeping a low profile is that Harmon and Dawber don’t have any social media profiles. Harmon said: “I’m not a Twitter… or a Facebook guy. Our sons aren’t into that either. Pam and I have both made a living in this business, and still, there’s a part of that that’s just not natural.”

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Not Into Social Media

Not Into Social Media

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Their Sons

As for the couple’s sons, they seem to have also caught the acting bug and are following in their parents footsteps. Their older son Sean has starred in a few episodes of NCIS and even played a younger version of his father! Even though the family are supportive of one another’s ventures, Dawber has admitted that her sons don’t watch her work.

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Their Sons

Their Sons

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Seeing Double

While it is not uncommon for children to resemble their parents, Harmon and Dawber’s son Sean is quite literally a younger version of his father! The two look so similar that it seemed like a natural fit for Sean to play a younger version of his father on NCIS. Sean truly resembles a young Mark Harmon, it’s serious uncanny!

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Seeing Double

Seeing Double

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They Don’t Watch Mom’s Work

She has shared with Entertainment Tonight: “My kids have never seen anything I’ve done. I’m just their mom. They don’t care about what I did. They care about what they are doing. They want their parents to care about what they are doing.” At the end of the day, Dawber just wants to be a supportive mother to her sons.

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They Don't Watch Mom's Work

They Don’t Watch Mom’s Work

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The Stress Of Celebrity Parents

In addition to wanting to be supportive, Dawber was concerned about her sons growing up with celebrity parents. She’s admitted that they’ve had to deal with Harmon’s fame, so she did not want them to experience that with both parents. She said:  “Their father is already iconic enough for two boys. I am just the mom.”

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The Stress Of Celebrity Parents

The Stress Of Celebrity Parents

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The Dream Couple

Dawber and Harmon’s marriage is truly impressive, especially when by celebrity marriage standards. When Dawber shared details of keeping her marriage strong, fans were quick to respond with support. One fan shared: Pam and Mark, my dream couple. They are so beautiful together. Love the thought of them as a great Hollywood couple who are keeping it real.”

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The Dream Couple

The Dream Couple

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Relationship Goals

The two are seriously relationship goals, and fans are gushing over them. Another fan has said: “Mark is my favorite actor, and it’s excellent that Mark and Pam have such a beautiful relationship. Love you guys.” Yet another supporter shared: “Mark Harmon always kept his family away from his acting work. That is meritorious. Work and live your life without complications of the press.”

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Relationship Goals

Relationship Goals

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She Continued Some Work

Dawber has always put her family first, however, throughout the years she still contributed to several projects. In 2014, she joined former Mork & Mindy co-star Robin Williams on an episode of his show The Crazy Ones. Williams died later that year and Dawber broke down in an interview with Entertainment Tonight while discussing her late friend.

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She Continued Some Work

She Continued Some Work

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The Odd Couple

On her most recent working with Williams, she said: “I hadn’t seen Robin for 20 years. I did that episode because I wanted to be with Robin. I wanted to see Robin. That was a gift. That was such a gift.” Additionally, she starred in an episode of The Odd Couple as a tribute to Mork & Mindy creator Garry Marshall, who passed away in 2016.

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The Odd Couple

The Odd Couple

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A Special Guy

Harmon is still starring in his role on NCIS, which is well into its 16th season. Through it all, Pam has been by his side, supporting his long career. It’s clear that the two are still happily in love, and Dawber even shared in an interview with InStyle: “He’s one of those guys who makes you say, ‘They don’t make them like that anymore.’”

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A Special Guy

A Special Guy

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A Later Love

Nobody can deny that the pair are the loves of each other’s lives. However, their relationship actually began a bit later in their lives. They married when the two were 35 years old, and Harmon has actually attributed their age to part of why their marriage is such a success.

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A Later Love

A Later Love

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A Mature Marriage

Harmon opened up in an interview with People Magazine in 2019 and spoke about his relationship with Dawber. He believes that meeting later in life really helped and explained: “We were both in our thirties when we got married, so hopefully the stupid stuff we did earlier. That’s probably the closest I have to what the key is.”

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A Mature Marriage

A Mature Marriage

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Not Always Seeing Eye To Eye

Despite the fact that it’s easy to believe that these two are the ultimate couple, they are still human and still have some disagreements from time to time, as all couples do. However, Harmon has said that he believes having a difference in opinion is quite beneficial to their relationship. In fact, he revealed that Dawber was not in favor of one of his biggest decisions.

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Not Always Seeing Eye To Eye

Not Always Seeing Eye To Eye

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Summer School

In 1987, Harmon was given an opportunity to star in the film Summer School. His role was of the teacher who ended up having to teach at summer school and needed to help students prepare for an important test. The Carl Reiner film turned out to be successful, but Dawber was originally against Harmon taking the role.

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Summer School

Summer School

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Working With Carl Reiner

Even though Dawber was against it, Harmon said he was excited by the opportunity to work with Reiner. In an interview with People Harmon said: “I wanted to do it just because I was excited to work with Carl Reiner. That was a game changer for me, like, ‘He thinks I can do this?!’ and that meant a lot.”

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Working With Carl Reiner

Working With Carl Reiner

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Against Her Wishes

Even though he ended up going against what Dawber wanted, he thinks that in the end, their differing opinions are a positive. Their differences keep them balanced. He said: “We don’t generally like the same thing, and that’s been healthy for us, actually.”

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Against Her Wishes

Against Her Wishes

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He Opens Up

As has become quite clear, Harmon and Dawber do not enjoy opening up and speaking candidly about their personal lives. However, they’ve recently opened up to share some details that we’d otherwise never know about. For example, Harmon has shared an interesting tidbit about what he will sometimes wear instead of his wedding band…

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He Opens Up

He Opens Up

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His Other Ring

Harmon will sometimes wear a different ring, one that’s shaped like an eagle’s head that’s a mysterious family heirloom. However, the exact origin of the ring is unknown. Harmon elaborated with People Magazine: “We think it was my grandfather’s because it was in a box of things that my dad left.”

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His Other Ring

His Other Ring

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Keeping The Ring On

Although Harmon sometimes switched around which ring he’ll wear on his finger, he said it’s very important to him to be always wearing a ring at all times. While filming, he will often have to take the ring off to fit his character, however once he’s done shooting he makes sure to immediately put the ring back on.

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Keeping The Ring On

Keeping The Ring On

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Proud Of His Woman

Harmon has opened up about why he finds wearing his ring so important. In an interview with People he has said: “I wear it or a few others I have because when I’m not shooting, I like to make sure I have something on my ring finger, because I’m proud to be married, and I’m proud of who I’m married to. I’m just so proud of her.”

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Proud Of His Woman

Proud Of His Woman

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Renewing Their Vows

These two simply know how to have a successful marriage. For the couple’s 30th wedding anniversary, Harmon and Dawber decided to celebrate by renewing their vows. They gathered with their closets family members and friends in honor of the special celebration. Here’s to another 30 happy years!

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Renewing Their Vows

Renewing Their Vows

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Mark On The Big Screen

In 2003, Mark branched out beyond the TV screen and made an appearance on the big screen. He landed a supporting role in the Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis remake of comedy film Freaky Friday as Jamie Lee Curtis’ partner. Here Mark was introduced to a younger set of fans, who turned up to the film to watch Lindsay Lohan, a teen sensation at the time.

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Mark On The Big Screen

Mark On The Big Screen

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The West Wing

One of Mark’s most noteworthy roles is Secret Service special agent Simon Donovan on the highly acclaimed TV show The West Wing. He was able to break out of his previous typecasting of a character actor and his 4 piesode arc portrayal even earned him a nomination for an Emmy award in 2002.

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The West Wing

The West Wing

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Mark’s Time On The Stage

In addition to acting in front of cameras, Harmon has also appeared in stage productions. He appeared in Wrestlers and also The Wager on stage at the Cast Theater, which is located in Los Angeles. He and Dawber even performed together in the production Love Letters. 

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Mark's Time On The Stage

Mark’s Time On The Stage

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Branching Out From Acting

Fiver years after starting his role as Leroy Jethro Gibbs on NCIS in 2003, Harmon decided he wanted to branch out from just acting. In 2008, in addition to playing Gibbs, Harmon has also experimented with branching out to producing the show, as well as serving as executive producer. What a talented guy!

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Branching Out From Acting

Branching Out From Acting

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Mark The Director

Perhaps the roots of his desire to serve as producer and executive producer can be traced back to earlier branching out experiences. In 1999 and later again in 2000, Harmon had the opportunity to direct two episodes of Chicago Hope. Then again in 2002, he directed two episodes of Boston Public. Is there anything Mark can’t do?

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Mark The Director

Mark The Director

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His Other Interests

Perhaps because he is the son of an athlete, in 1988 Harmon became a part owner of a minor league baseball team, the San Bernadino Spirit. That year, Ken Griffey Jr. was a part of the team before he moved on to the Settle Mariners. Mark was later able to use the team’s field to film a scene of Stealing Home, a movie he starred in.

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His Other Interests

His Other Interests

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Recognition For Harmon

After several decades of working in show business, all of Harmon’s hard work paid off. On October 1st, 2012, Mark received one of the highest honors that an entertainer can get. He received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame! His star became the 2482nd addition to the famous stars lining Hollywood Boulevard.

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Recognition For Harmon

Recognition For Harmon

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His Production Company

After so many years of acting on television, films, and also on stage productions, Harmon decided to take a new direction. He opened his very own production company in 2014. The company, called Wings, produced NCIS: New Orleans. The show has seen much success and has been renewed for a sixth season, which will premiere September 24th, 2019.

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His Production Company

His Production Company

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Trouble Began

Actress Pauley Perrette has accused Harmon for mistreating while on the set of NCIS, and tweeted: ““NO I AM NOT COMING BACK! EVER! (Please stop asking?)…I have a new show that is SAFE AND HAPPY! You’ll love it! #HappyPlace Love y’all!” Harmon has denied these accusations

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Trouble Began

Trouble Began

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Her Theory

Perrette claimed that Harmon “body checked” her in response to her complaining about his dog being on the show’s set, resulting in a banning of the dog on set. She believed that he was upset with her and wanted to get back at her. She worked with CBS and eventually left NCIS after the incident.

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Her Theory

Her Theory

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What The Network Said

CBS later came out with a statement that read: “Pauley Perrette had a terrific run on ‘NCIS’ and we are all going to miss her. Over a year ago, Pauley came to us with a workplace concern. We took the matter seriously and worked with her to find a resolution. We are committed to a safe work environment on all our shows.”

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What The Network Said

What The Network Said

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His Fans Speak Out

However, despite all of this, Harmon’s fans came out in support of him. One fan tweeted in response to Perrette’s accusatory tweet: “MILLIONS of us also love Mark Harmon and your crazy lies will not change that. You’re twisting the truth. His dog bit someone and you’re making it out to be murder. Dogs make mistakes. He had the dog leashed after. Dogs are family. Mark Harmon isn’t the problem. You are Pauley.”

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His Fans Speak Out

His Fans Speak Out

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His Wife’s Support

While we may never know what really went on behind the scenes of NCIS, what we do know is throughout the whole messy ordeal, Harmon’s wife was there for him to support him. Just as she has stayed by his side throughout the past three decades, this was no different.

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His Wife's Support

His Wife’s Support

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Mark The Hero

In 1996, Mark was faced with a horrific situation when a car crash took place outside his house in Brentwood. The driver escaped, but the passenger was trapped inside the car that had burst into flame. Harmon broke into the car with a sledgehammer brought from his garage and saved the teenage boy who was trapped in the flames.

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Mark The Hero

Mark The Hero

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